FEAR

I am so scared ....  but I don't know why.   Being fat is not easy ... so why do I treat it as such?   Losing the weight and being healthy is going to be hard work .... but not impossible.  Why am I so afraid?   Why is it easier to just keep making excuses?   2 days of good on track eating ... then a binge of the candy and I crumble???   2 days of Shred.  2 days ... did it hurt?  yes.   did it make me cry?  yes.  SO WHAT?   Why do I just give up so easily?  I have to find the strength to STOP WITH THE EXCUSES.

It's Weight Watchers night .....  I have paid for this program for over a year.  I'm in such debt that I don't see the light, yet I justify wasting $40 month for what???   Get a grip cupcake ....  Get a grip.

I will go to the meeting tonight ..... and i will listen.  And I WILL take away a little bit of the strength from the group.  

I want to learn to blog ....

I think I have a mental technology block ... seriously....  I couldn't even find my own blog from my laptop at home this weekend.    And, I'm sure that blogger will be blocked at work soon. 

Rough weekend ... and I think I would have enjoyed being able to "talk".

Back on track monday though .... it's all good.   I just ordered a set of hand weights from Jillian Michaels.  Unfortunately, the only place I found them was Walmart.  I hate Walmart.   But, I will head that way tonight and get them and hope I don't kill myself with the Shred tomorrow morning!

Upswing ....

Feeling better ... almost thinking that I should have gone to the doctor, but ok that I didn't.  Still think it was just sinus issues ... not sure where the severe fatigue came in from.  My goal today is to NOT take a nap after work!  And by Monday, I want to be "normal" again.

A little wrench in the dinner plan for last night, but I tracked and it was well within range.   Work lunch today was a pretty point hefty (lunch time at least) salad ... actually, it was the bread and the roll that upped that value.  But worth it and will still work just fine with the dinner plan.    I think that I can actually make it an entire week sticking to the plan!  GO ME!

Still need to figure out this blog thing ...  I found a follow button today as I was reading some of my favorite blogs, and not exactly sure what that means, except now I can find the ones I like easier???   If anyone other than me reads this ....  is there a "how to blog for over 40 year olds" manual somewhere?!

Hump Day

WW weigh in last night.  Up 2.8 ... not nearly as bad as I thought, but I need to focus and go in the minus direction ... not the up direction!   Exercise ... I have to get over the fear.  Why the fear?  Where does it come from?  Am I the only one with a fear of "just doing it"??

Good food choices today.  I know I can do this ... I just have to stick to the plan and stay focused.

Sickness

I did not plan on ending and starting the year sick.  Sinus infections do not Rock.  Jan. 2 ... I think I may be on the upswing.

First Post

Learning process.  I think I can.  I think I can.